Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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