My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
