He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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