I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I love you. Go after that dick
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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