so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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