I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
50% drunk capacity currently
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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