we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
