I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
