Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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