I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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