Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my being single is dangerous.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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