I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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