Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
