Cold hands, warm shart.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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