when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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