By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
