I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
