so that wasnt chicken after all
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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