Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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