Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
