420 ftw
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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