So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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