Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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