Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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