genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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