the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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