He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i think im in europe. pls send help
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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