i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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