how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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