We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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