I heard we made out
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
