Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
