I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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