Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
