the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
