We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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