Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
