Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
