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• (303): View more from Colorado

  GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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• (+44): View more from England

  You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just don't do feelings in the summer months.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.

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• (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.

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• (779): View more from Illinois

  I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates

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• (845): View more from New York

  Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant one of your roommates drive you?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came in my eye once. You owe me.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  ill be there in 20

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