I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
