We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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