We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
