Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
