he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You pole danced in your parka.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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