i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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