i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
