he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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