Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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