Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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