My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
