there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
