Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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