Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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