i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
