im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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