The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
