You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
