I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
