Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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