Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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